Today was a day of nothing. I was exhausted as soon as I woke up and felt no motivation to do anything. Mom and Dad walked Obi for me and I lay on the sofa watching crappy horror films for the rest of the day. I felt sad and empty but with a kind of nothingness that made everything seem pointless.
Ian came home and we watched Land of Hope and Glory, a documentary on UK farming practices. I’ve been meaning to watch it ever since it was released and I knew it was going to be traumatic but I felt that I couldn’t encourage anyone else to watch something if I hadn’t seen it myself first. So I cried and cried and for the millionth time wondered how we can treat animals in such a cruel way purely for human satisfaction. If you want to watch it (and I would encourage you to do so) this is the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvtVkNofcq8 In fact I think it should be required viewing for anyone who includes meat, dairy or eggs in their diet or uses products that are derived from animals. If you make the choice to purchase these things I believe it is only right that you should be aware of where they come from.
So, distressing viewing aside, I haven’t done anything of any consequence today. Well, I washed the bed clothes and hung them on the line to dry but that’s it. Tea is cooking (left over 3 bean chilli from last night) and I don’t plan on doing anything other than eating that, watching TV and binging on vegan ice-cream for the rest of the day. Maybe tomorrow will be more productive, who knows? It’s so frustrating not knowing how I’m going to wake up feeling from one day to the next. The joys of mental illness.